It reminds me of the last day of Gautam Buddha’s life on this earth. It was a full-moon night. It is a strange coincidence; he was born on a full-moon night, he became enlightened on a full-moon night and he died on a full-moon night. What a beautiful, symmetrical, harmonious life, where end and beginning and middle are all the same. 

He died, but he had thousands of disciples, and the problem was that he had left nothing in writing. The disciples were concerned about the coming centuries, that people would never know the great height that Gautam Buddha reached, the depth of consciousness that he touched. Every word that he uttered in forty-two years had to be recorded for the coming centuries. 

But it was a problem. For forty-two years he had been speaking, and the only man who had been continuously present was Ananda. Other disciples sometimes were with him; sometimes they would go away to preach, and sometimes they would stay with Buddha, particularly in the rainy season, when moving around was difficult. But nobody remained with Gautam Buddha all the time, except for Ananda. And Ananda’s memory was unbelievable, but the trouble was that he was not enlightened himself.

Three hundred disciples who were enlightened gathered together in an assembly hall, but everybody said, ”A few things I have heard, but I cannot say about his whole teaching, I have not been with him for all the time he was teaching.” Those three hundred people were enlightened, and they said, ”We can say what our experience is, but if you want Gautam Buddha’s words you will have to let in Ananda, who is sitting outside the hall, on the steps.” He had not been allowed in, because he was not yet enlightened.

And Ananda himself was not ready to say a single word unless he became enlightened, because he didn’t want to defile or misinterpret. He knew he was full of human frailties. ”So you will just have to wait, I will do my best. I could have become enlightened before you, because I came in the very early days, but unfortunately I took Gautam Buddha for granted. Another misfortune was that I was a cousin-brother, elder to him, so I never deep down felt ... I touched his feet, but I knew that I was his elder brother. I listened to him, but I knew that in ordinary life he would have to listen to me, as I was elder to him.

”Forty-two years passed and I was constantly with him, day in, day out, and I missed him. I remember every word that he uttered, because I knew that nobody was constantly around him, and one day it would be needed. I have to write it down, but now I have only tears – you will have to wait.”

The three hundred enlightened ones waited for twenty-four hours while Ananda sat on the steps of the assembly hall with tears. He forgot to eat, he forgot to drink, he forgot the whole world. And after forty-two years of continuous insistence on being in, for the first time he tried it. He had heard it and heard it and heard it so much that it had become almost a commonplace, he would know when Gautam Buddha was going to say, ”Go in.” 

But now Gautam Buddha was not there and he had to go in, otherwise the whole teaching would be lost. He was the only container. And within twenty-four hours he became enlightened. It was a tremendously concentrated effort. He sat down on the steps with this determination: ”Either I become enlightened, or you will have to burn my corpse. I am not going to move from here.” With such totality and intensity one cannot avoid being enlightened. And as he became enlightened, the tears changed their quality. His whole being became radiant and the three hundred enlightened disciples started dancing; they opened the door and received Ananda. They said, ”Without you the world will never know what kind of a man Gautam Buddha was.” Because of this, all the scriptures are the memories of Ananda. Every Buddhist scripture begins, ”I have heard ....” It is such a humble beginning; Ananda could not say anything more, because at the time he heard it he was not enlightened. Now he knows that what he heard was right, but at the time it was only heard, it was not experienced.

You are here. I would not like you to be in the position of Ananda. I would like you to be in a position to say, ”Yes, it is so” – not that you have heard, but you have experienced.

The scriptures are dead, and the scholars who devote their lives to reading the scriptures and interpretations not only waste their own lives, they befool millions of people. They go on teaching, not knowing what they are teaching. They are like blind people teaching about light, blind people talking about the beauties of the full moon, blind people talking about the roses and their colorfulness. And because everybody else is blind, nobody prevents them.

Zen: The Diamond Thunderbolt 

Osho