...Every time I try to go to bed with a man, I feel so much fear... and I’m not enjoying it.
... I think for a few days you should stop moving, because that may be the whole thing. Sometimes it happens that you don’t have any sexual needs and you are forcing it because it is the thing to do. People have very wrong notions about everything. If sex is not there, people think, ’You are dead!
What are you doing? For what are you living?’
So for these three weeks, have no relationship. Just be alone and enjoy aloneness and just have a feel of what happens. In these three weeks, note whether there is some intense passion for sex or not. If there is not, the fear is just because you are forcing something against yourself. If you feel intensely sexual, then tell me, and there will be something else. But just watch for these three weeks.
As I feel it there is no intense sexuality in you so it is almost as if you are forcing yourself. You really don’t enjoy it. You pretend that you enjoy it, but your need is not sex. Your need is something else. Your need is to be needed and sex seems to be the easiest thing to have somebody need you. But it is not your need.
So be celibate and just watch. And be true, because that will be decisive for your future. If you feel sexual, tell me. If you don’t feel anything at all and you feel happy, good, just tell me. Mm? Good.
A Rose is a Rose is a Rose
Osho
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